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A Great Aphrodisiac!

 

Shhh! The Secrets To A More Satisfying Sex Life Are Just A Rub And A Swallow Away. . . . 

The final scene of "Leaving Las Vegas," a movie which just earned Nicholas Cage an Academy Award, epitomized to me the awesome power of sex between two soulmates. I don't know about you, but in my busy, hassled, harried, pressured, and stressful life, my matings typically don't produce that kind of fireworks. Assuming, of course, I can find the energy to mate in the first place. 

The American Psychiatric Association reports sexual dysfunction is a growing problem in America today. As sex pervades the marketplace in advertisements and movies, (Carmen Miranda got fired for not wearing panties in a movie; 40 years later Sharon Stone got rich and famous doing the same thing!), couples are having less and less fun in the bedroom. 

I find that terribly sad. I know I go to work with a smile on my face when I've spent the morning in Shangri-La. In the past weeks I've stumbled across two products that have taken my sex life to a new level. I'm going to share my experiences with you. (Just don't tell my mother.) 

Before I tell you what they are, I'm going to explain how they work. Your liver produces cholesterol, which becomes the basis for the three human sex hormones. These hormones (the word comes from Greek, meaning "to excite;" I've seen people spell it "whore moans," however) are androgens for the male and estrogens and progestins for the female. Men and women alike produce all three of these steroidal hormones; gender and age, however, determine how much the body produces of each. 

It is testosterone, an androgen, that controls primarily controls libido in both men and women. Men typically have 30 times more testosterone than women. (Explains a lot of things, doesn't it, ladies!) 

Progesterone also enhances the libido, especially in females. Women with too much copper don't make enough progesterone. Copper toxicity is a growing health problem among American and European woman due to our methods of birth control. 

The new products --and the eating plan that goes with them -- are designed to help your adrenal glands, and your testes/ovaries naturally produce more of these two hormones. The results: greater sexual desire, greater endurance, and, for males, faster recovery times. 

The first product is called Great Sex In A Bottle. (A Hard Copy reporter actually christened the white pills.) The chief component of the pills is avena sativa or straw oats. You eat a refined version of straw oats when you make oatmeal in the morning.  

We owe the discovery of straw oats as an aphrodisiac to a Chinese farmer named Lee Zhang. He was a grain farmer who had a passion for koi, the large and colorful carp he grew in a pond. Zhang assigned his young son the task of feeding the koi before going to school. The child did so, feeding them from a bag stored in the barn. 

When the bag was empty, the boy dutifully reported he needed more fish food. The father was surprised, since he had purchased a large bag. When he went to the barn, he discovered the boy had fed the fish the wrong food. The bag of green oats was gone. 

The father was worried about the fish, so he went to the pond, assuming they were dead. He was shocked at what he saw. Hundreds of new baby carp were swimming in the now crowded pool. Zhang realized something about the green oats made the fish breed more aggressively. 

The Chinese tried to recreate the mixture for humans. Eventually word of this stuff got around in the medical community. Scientists at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, a non-profit research organization in San Francisco, conducted a six week, double blind study using 40 subjects to determine if these "wild oats" actually produced any sexual benefits. 

Using urine as the testing agent, the researchers discovered the subjects' testosterone levels increased an average of 105%! Men suffering from impotence could now perform. Women, who previously had no desire for sex, were now veritable vixens. 

Great Sex in a Bottle was developed by a California physician who actually helped me develop my infertility Web page,so he has credibility with me. I have to admit after taking the product for just one week, it's increased my endurance in all physical activities, not just sex. Yesterday I added 10 more pounds to the weight stacks and was surprised at how easy it was to do three sets. 

The bottles -- there's a special formula for men as well as women -- cost $35. You need to take one pill at breakfast and one at dinner. Oh, there is another benefit. Every time you pull out the bottle you become the center of attention. You get great service in restaurants because the waiters are suddenly more attentive! 

The second product is the wild yam cream, which helps women produce more progesterone. You rub the cream on the neck, breasts, stomach, buttocks and inner thighs. Sounds fun to me, right guys? 

P.S. If you buy a bottle, I want testimonials!!!

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